When do you start sex ed?
Hello.
My niece is and just started Kindergarten this year. My sister believes she needs to begin talking to her about sex Shocked. She says that she is going to learn about it at school and she wants to be the one to teach her. She also claims that my niece has been curious about her body.
I think it is a little too early. Actually, WAY early, for this talk. My niece is very naive and still very innocent. She had developmental delays and so she really has the mind of a 4 year old. She just began to notice skin color differences. I think a little information about body changes may be ok, such as loosing your teeth, which she can relate to. But any talk about menstruation, body hair, body odors, opposite sex, and sex in general should wait.
What do you think? When did you begin teaching your children about sex? How did they handle it? Would you have waited longer, or started earlier? Just looking for some input that I can pass along.
Thanks!
Debra
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My lady is much to young to even understand most words, but I still believe that 5 would be much to young to start. I have decided to homeschool so I will most likely wait until those changes begin to happen with her, of if at a younger age she begins getting curious and asking questions, but not before 8 or 9 I think.
Thanks for your replies.
Although, teachers are not formally teaching sex ed at schools, kids pick it up form each other. During my first year of teaching kindergarten, I had a student who could tell me the whole story of how her 5th grader sister was raped. She told the story completely matter-of-factly. "She runs away from home all the time, because she's crazy. Well, she was raped and my mom was on drugs, etc...." The fifth grade teachers at my school hold a sex ed forum with the kids once a year and the questions they get asked are absolutely vulgar and unbelievable. For them to know enough to ask these questions is frightening.
Please pray for our children and for the future of this country. Our values and morals are shifting and it is the children who are at stake.
Debra
Hello Debra, I just read your response about teachers not teaching it formally at schools and wanted to share that they are here, as early as first grade. Since my 13 year old was in first grade I have consistently received a letter stating that on such and such day the class will participate in a sex education class. The letter proceeds to assure me that the children will be seperated by boys and girls and that if I do not wish for my child to participate they can sit in a seperate class and do school work.
Well, first off I don't think it's right that elementary schools start teaching it...ever wonder why our 10 year olds are having sex in school???? Secondly, I think it is pressure on the parents to let their kids participate since the alternative is very much like detention!
I have never let my kids take part in the school systems sex education classes, nor have my kids had to sit in detention. I simply sign the form, scratch out "sit in a classroom" and fill in with "stay at home." Then my kids stay home that day plain and simple!
That is how I have always handled it and how I always will!
Wow, I hadn't really thought about sex education. It always seemed to me that this is a topic for when our kids were ready for the dating scene! If they are teaching it in kindergarten at schools then obviously I will need to be more involved in that. I don't think little kids need to know much about sex and the like other than he's a boy and you're a girl and we don't share each others bodies! Just my view, I may have a different consideration later though.
Wow, 5 is very young for this topic. I believe that the sooner we introduce our children to the topic of sex the sooner they will crave more information. Under the age of 10 kids don't posses the maturity to really understand what the meaning of sex, sexual maturity or any of that such. Unfortunately for your sister she is right to want to teach her views over the schools. Schools are beginning younger and younger trying to educate kids and prevent teenage pregnancies and the like. It is my opinion that each time they have started teaching younger kids they have merely accomplished sexual curiosity at a much younger age.
Your sister should take an active role in her belief with the school. Approach the principle now, not after they are discussing the topic and tell them she does not consent for ANY form of sexual education for her child. I did this with my older girls when they were in elementary public school and was met with very understanding staff. I signed a simple piece of paper and that was that. When the class discussion involved ANY type of sexual education, even simple stuff like "good touching, bad touching" my girls were given alternative work in another room, which was filled with other students not participating.
A five year old who is curious about her body should be told that it is her body, and depending on the level of curiosity she should be taught that God made boys and girls different and we are to keep our bodies to ourselves. They belong to us and only us. In my opinion this is as far as it needs to go.
Another thing you could share with your sister is that sex, sexual maturity and all that comes with it is actually scary for younger kids. Since they don't have the maturity to understand they may become overly fearful of their body and that of their parents. Talking about sexual maturity openly is a good alternative, simply meaning that if her daughter says, "Mom why do you have boobs?" Mom could answer the question as she sees fit. Young children learn all they NEED to learn by observation and asking questions. If mom is open in answering these types of questions when they come then her daughter will be comfortable talking to her about more elaborate topics as she nears puberty and needs to know more.
I hope this is helpful Debra and wish your sister success in bringing her daughter into a natural awareness where she needs to be. If you have anything else you want to share on this topic feel free to post again.
Mikki Hogan Publisher of UniqueParenting.com