What Goes through Your Mind When the doctor tells you you're pregnant?

Debra--I'm so glad things went okay!

When I was first pregnant with Aidan, I started bleeding at about 6 1/2 weeks. I was petrified! We rushed to the hospital and they did a vaginal ultrasound. When I got to see that little heart beat, it was the best feeling in the world. I have the ultrasound picture from that day and it looks like nothing more than a little lima bean. That picture of "my little bean" was so precious. Aidan still likes seeing the picture of himself as a bean!

Oh, and my thoughts go out to both you and Elsie! Really, really, really take advantage of those nap times whenever you can!

Debra-I'm so glad you have a good heartbeat! I didn't know they'd try anything but a vaginal ultrasound at this point...I've always only had that type of ultrasound in the first trimester because the baby is so small...But maybe it was a blessing in disguise to have that moment of worry. And I live for Aiden's naps these days too!

I went my Dr. appointment, which was today, not yesterday (pregnancy makes me a real ditz! ). They had trouble spotting the baby. The U/S tech asked me when we had taken the home test and also asked if I was having any symptoms (tender breasts, nausea...) It made me feel like she didn't think I was pregnant. So I panicked a little. I asked if we were too early and she said, possibly. So then we did a vaginal ultra sound and after searching for a while, we finally had a clear picture.

My EDD is July 26th. So, I am 7 weeks.

I have to admit that once they sat me on the table and turned off the lights, it hit me. I was about to see my baby ! I always feel like challenge makes me more passionate and so not being able to find the baby for a while I think strengthened my emotions. I was secretly pulling for the baby to show up. And when I finally saw the baby's heartbeat, it was as if we had just conquered our first obstacle together. I felt so in touch with the baby. I actually cried. I did not cry for Joa's first sonogram, so that was new.

Speaking of Joa... Oh yes things are going to be different this pregnancy. lol We love him but he was totally ruining the moment for us. He had been good the whole time and he had skipped his nap, so by the time we did the sonogram he was done. Antsy, squirming, whining - the works. So, there I was crying and trying to reach for Eric's free hand while Joakim wiggled and babbled. Also, when I got home I was exhausted and wanted to go right to nap. But of course, Joa napped in the car on the way home, so when I got home there was no time to sleep. Instead I had to do diaper duty, feeding duty, and playing duty. I am actually currently waiting for him to show me the first sign of sleepy. As soon as I see a yawn or a slow blink, he's going down!

Debra-Congratulations! When is your EDD? Mine is 7/8/09...Easy to remember, but it'll hopefully be a little earlier than that since Aiden was so big at 38 weeks (8lbs 5oz).

I love doctors visits...but then I've been through tons of not-so-fun doctors visits with all of my fertility treatments, so that makes the doctor visits to see the baby well worth it. I love hearing the heartbeat, or seeing the ultrasound. I count the days until my doctor appointments...but all of that is probably because I've been through infertility and wondered if I'd ever be pregnant again. I think maybe that makes things different for me Grin. Either way, I don't think there is a wrong or right reaction--you're going to be in love with that baby as soon as you see that little face!

Hi Debra,

Don't beat yourself up over this!! Each pregnancy (and your reactions to it!) are going to be different and that's okay. Don't think of it as "been there, done that". Think of it as the wisdom that comes with experience. Maybe you're just a little calmer about the whole thing because you do understand what's happening and aren't as nervous. And the excitement will kick in!!! I'm sure once you see the first pictures or feel the first movement or Joa first understands what's happening or, or, or.... There will definitely be milestones that will be significant and will hit you in unexpected ways, I'm sure. That's when those flood gates will open!

And don't forget those nasty little things called hormones that rage through our bodies when we're pregnant. There's NEVER any telling what those will do to our emotions!

For me, Eli was a complete surprise. We were still in the should-we-have-a-second-child stage when our question got answered for us. So, yes, my reaction was very different than when we had been trying to get pregnant with Aidan. But how I felt at first had absolutely nothing to do with how I felt when he was born.

You'll be fine. Be sure to let us know how the doctor's appointment goes!

Cheryl

Doctor visits! I will say I was thrilled with each pregnancy, loved watching my body change and sharing it with the kids and all that goes with it. However, I hated the doctor visits, always poking and pushing and asking questions they already asked, the further the pregnancy went the worse the visits were for me. I always felt they were completely unnecessary.

With my third pregnancy I found a midwife and worked with her for the pregnancy and delivery, we still went to see her on a monthly basis but the appointments were sooo different. The check ups monitored my weight gain, listened to my heart, talked about my diet, sleep and hydration and were so pleasant. My husband and I came to the conclusion that the difference between the two was a simple matter of, 1) Doctors are always monitoring for signs of complications so they can be prepared for the worse, and 2) Midwives are always monitoring the mother's health to make sure she has the strength to deliver the baby.

This doesn't mean midwives don't notice when things seem abnormal, mine noticed Aaron's rapid growth and took steps to stop that. It simply means their approach is calmer, and more pleasant.

Debra I don't think your dreading the whole visit to the doctor and monotony of it all has no reflection on your joy for this pregnancy. Cheryl is right, you now know what it is about and what is going to take place and some where in your mind you probably doubt the actual need for all those visits Wink You were thrilled with your positive and that shows your excitement, now you body is accepting of the change and each new milestone (gaining weight, baby kicked, Joa asks questions) will bring that joy you fear you may be lacking.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Thanks Cheryl and Mikki,

I appreciate your insight. I definitely think we'll be more relaxed as far as shopping is concerned. Not only did God prove that he provides for all of our needs with Joa, we also learned what the necessary items are.

I guess my feelings will change, especially after the first sonogram tomorrow. I was ecstatic when I got a positive test. I laughed, cried, and jumped for joy. But in the following days, I felt my excitement drop. I feel myself thinking about Dr visits like "Oh yea here we go again." With my first pregnancy, I could not wait to go to the Dr to find out what was going on with me. This time, I've kinda taken on a"Been there, Done that" attitude. And I have to admit, I am mad at myself about it.

In my won defense, I am trying to keep myself level headed until I find out the gender. At that point I think I'll open the flood gates and allow myself to go crazy.

Did you guys experience these feelings?

Thanks!
Debra

BTW, Cheryl, My b-day is July 22

Every pregnancy was just as exciting as the first for me. I loved going to the baby section (even though we couldn't afford to buy new every baby, it was the window shopping that was sooo much fun for me) I never really noticed feeling more tired chasing my toddlers (and I had one with every pregnancy) and in reality having the other children made the pregnancy more exciting because of their excitement. I remember each pregnancy I had a 2 year old that was always mesmerized with my growing belly and the moving baby inside.

I have to share that with Aaron I gained 68 pounds, and on a 120 pound body that really shows!! Most of the weight was mid-section and Jessica was 2 at the time. One day at about 7 months pregnant she enters the bathroom as I was getting dressed and says, "mommy, is there a baby in your butt too?" Grin Grin Grin

Having toddlers makes being pregnant so much more fun and enjoyable. Being able to share with them what is going on inside you and then to see them after you bring the baby home and mommies belly is gone, I know that my kids put that together. I remember them touching my belly, pausing, then kissing the new baby.

I have to say yes, the second pregnancy was as exciting for me as the first, as was the third and the fourth.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Hi Debra,

When is your birthday? My youngest's is July 27th. July was a miserable month for me that year! Living in New England, we're used to a real change of seasons and not having long periods of really, really hot weather. That summer was HOT! And we didn't even have air conditioning---a lot of homes here don't have central AC. A lot of people just have window units. We had nothing at that point. My husband came home the night before 4th of July weekend, I took one look at him and said, "I NEED air conditioning!" The poor man ran to three different stores befoe he could find one in stock and then came home and installed it immediately. I think he was afraid of a 9-month pregnant woman at home!

As for being as excited with the second, I wouldn't say I was any less excited, but it was different. With the first, you're also a bit scared and anxious. With the second, a lot of the unknowns have been answered, so you can relax and enjoy the experience a bit more. At least that's what happened with me. I know with the first, it was a lot about doing the nursery, picking all the cute little clothes, thinking about how perfect everything was going to be, etc., etc. I think with the second you're a little more realistic and understand what's really important. It doesn't matter what outfit the baby's wearing, as long as everyone is healthy and happy!

I think the second pregnancy was harder in that you already have a little one at home. With the first, if you were tired after work, you could lay down and rest a while. If you weren't feeling well and didn't want to cook supper, you could have a bowl of cereal and no one cared. As you got further along and got bigger and a little uncomfortable, you could take it easy. It was no big deal if you spent a couple hours on a Saturday afternoon doing absolutely nothing but resting. None of this happens with a little one at home already! I know husbands can help out, but we all know it's not always the same! Chasing a little one around when you're pregnant can be exhausting.

But it all works out in the end and it's wonderful! My two guys are just over two years apart and wouldn't know what to do without each other. They have their moments--but they really do get along soooo well and play together all the time. Watching the two of them grow together and bond together has just been amazing.