Should a 5yr Old Still Have Bathroom Accidents?
Hello.
My niece is 5 and she is in her first year of Kindergarten.
She has been potty trained for years but lately she has been wetting herself several times per week at school.
At first it was on the bus on her way to YMCA. So, I told me sister to ask her teacher to make her use the bathroom before leaving school. Then, she wet herself at the Y or earlier in the day at school. She wet herself a few times last year at daycare also.
As a former Kindergarten teacher, i have analyzed her with all my early childhood, psychology, and Special Ed knowledge but I am still stumped. I think it could be related to having a new baby in the family (she was the only grandchild until my baby) but she has been doing in since before he was born. She just gets caught up playing that she forgets to ask until its too late.
She is beginning to get teased now. Other kids are calling her "ugly." My heart just breaks for her.
Any ideas of similar experiences out there that may help?
Thanks!
Debra
Syndicate
AddThis
Hi Debra,
I agree with Elsie on the scheduled bathroom times. At home kids can go to the restroom whenever they want and when they start school that completely changes. Even the youngest kids are not aloud to use the restroom "on demand" instead they have to go at the scheduled times. For my 13yr old this was extremely hard in kindergarten because she didn't always have to go during the scheduled times and if she asked in between she was told no, unfortunately those little, still developing bladders can only hold so much for so long! I made countless trips to school with clean clothes and spoke to the teacher. My only option was to bring a note from the doctor saying she had to be excused to the restroom for medical reasons, so I did and the accidents stopped. As the classrooms became more and more crowded (as I am sure you know) schools couldn't have kids going to the restroom whenever they needed, too disruptive.
Elsie is also correct in the wanting to play accidents. Morgan is 7 and we still fight these. She wants to finish one more thing before she goes and it never fails that this will lead to a small accident, not enough to soak the pants but enough to require a change of underwear. Your sister can talk with the teacher before class one morning and let her know that accidents are not common at home and she wants some help in finding the cause. The teacher can make a note of the time of day, what activity was going on, whether or not she used the restroom during the scheduled times and so on. Once you know the likely reason for the accidents, whether she is too involved with play to ask or she is unable to hold it between scheduled times both your sister and the teacher will be able to work towards no more accidents.
Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com
Debra-I have heard of kids getting too caught up in play to realize that they really have to go. There used to be a game on pbskids that involved helping Elmo go potty when he had to go. They had him playing games and you had to make him stop in the middle of the game to go. I just went and searched for it, but it wasn't there--go figure.
My other thought is that maybe she's too shy to tell the teacher when she has to go? Maybe she was in a situation where they weren't very responsive to kids having to go. I know when my son goes to school they can only go at certain times, they don't have a bathroom in the classroom (even though the kids are only 3). Luckily, he has done fine, but I just wonder if she's become afraid to bother the teacher if she has to go? Is she the type of child to be put off by an adult who gets annoyed with her? Would that make her afraid to speak up again?
It's really sad that she's being made fun of in class. Kids are so mean!