Putting a Stop to My Teens Guilt Trips

I don't know how many of you have had to face this in your own homes but I must say that I am experiencing a first here in my own. My teen daughter has become a pro at constantly retaliating everything I say with, "Why don't you trust me!" and if that fails she will often resort to, "Why to you have to make me feel bad?"

Both of these statements have always been effective at getting me to stop whatever I am doing in an effort to defend my position because they really make me feel guilty. This sadly leads to an argument. Until more recently these arguments have always been about how often she can stay with a friend (which by the way had to be cut to once a week since she would never stay home)or whether or not she could have a cell phone (something I don't think she needs since she is homeschooled and doesn't work. When she is away from home she has a reliable way to keep in touch so the need for a cell phone simply doesn't exist!)

I started thinking about these manipulation statements when the arguments started over her actions that were dangerous to her well-being. It was then that I realized I spent more time defending myself than actually correcting a reckless behavior. And the sad part, most of the time she continued the behavior because she managed to get me to "re-negotiate" my position. This would only later land us right where we were to begin with, her taking advantage and making choices that were not in her best interest.

Now I am so vague here for two reasons, one I respect my daughters privacy and two, a parents view on what is best for their children will be different in every home. I will say, she was not behaving promiscuously or taking part in drugs and alcohol. Her actions were more separating her from her family, violating her moral standards and jeopardizing valuable friendships. None the less, as a parent I recognized her spiral downturn and attempted to intervene.

Her normally successful tactics in turning things around is my challenge. Honestly is gets exhausting refusing to argue with her. It is exhausting reminding myself that this is for her best interest. And it gets exhausting having courage each day to know my actions are for the best and as such don't need defending.

Does anyone else deal with this at home? Do you find yourself needing to constantly explain yourself to your teen? I would love to hear from others who know how this feels and can share ideas with.