Parenting Styles

Hello everyone!

I am researching how parent help to motivate their children for a paper I am writing. If you could answer these questions for me, I would be very thankful.

Louella

Parents:
How many children do you have? What ages are they?
What do you do to help motivate your children? To do chores, to complete homework (or other learning activities), to be independent
Do you use rewards on a regular basis to convince your children to do things? What are the rewards (candy, tv time, parent time, …)?

In our hurried society most families are living by rigid schedules forcing them to be very detailed and punctual. Parents can often be found preparing children as young as two for this lifestyle by “directing” their child’s scheduled play times accordingly. Have you ever stopped and wondered if this parent directed playtime was truly beneficial for the child?

Permissive parents place high value in being their child's friend. It is important to them to be loved and liked by their child. Their goal is to influence their child more as a fun peer than as a parent. Permissive parents avoid conflict at all costs. To them, it is easier to give in to the child's wants than to have a battle of the wills.

With so many parenting styles to choose from it is no wonder so many people find themselves unsure of how to proceed. Many families wait until they are having problems to start seeking advice from experienced parents. Others try to implement new skills and fall short without knowing why. Some families just don't know where to turn for help.

Developing your approach to parenting is more than selecting between parenting styles. It is more than taking a parenting class or attending a seminar. It is a lifestyle.

It is the desire of every parent's heart to do the best job they can for their children. Parents dream of happy healthy homes where children behave and feel loved. There is a lot of useful information available to parents, but it can also be overwhelming. Parents could easily get confused and frustrated with all the information. The library of Parenting Approaches continue to grow. It is no longer simply Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive.

Here are some recent theories on parenting approaches:

Authoritative parents set reasonable expectations for their children while allowing open conversations about the rules. In many cases, rules are written by the family as a unit. Children give suggestions for rules and consequences, which makes them easier to enforce later on. The parents, though, make the final decision.

Authoritarian parents set high expectations for their children's behavior. They have strict rules and they expect children to follow those rules, no questions asked. There is no room for discussion here. It is, "You do as I say or else." Children's questioning of a rule would be considered a defiance of authority. The reason behind many instructions is simply, "because I said so." Severe punishment awaits those who choose to disobey the rules. Punishments are inconsistent and often, unrelated to the offense.

Attachment Parenting is a parenting approach that places the highest value on nurturing in order to create strong family bonds. Parents follow a very instinctive and natural process summarized into eight principles.

Principles of Attachment Parenting

Active parenting is a parenting style in which parents lead the initiative to develop responsible children using various communication tools. Active Parenting families celebrate regular family meetings in which parents explicitly and actively teach their children how to handle problems. Through the use of "I" messages ("I feel emotion when you action. I would like for you to action."), and logical consequences, parents discipline in a way that is positive and proactive.

One definite way to ensure that your kids are being influenced by appropriate images is through active parenting. I'm not talking about physical activity here, although at times that may be required. I'm talking about getting involved.

When your kids head to the movies with a group of friends there is more than the movie itself affecting your child's ideas.

Let's look at a typical movie trip as an example: