A Lack Of Discipline Leads To A Lack Of Healthy Conflict

There is a new form of discipline out, and it's easier than you think. Or so the proponent of this particular discipline method would have you believe. The idea of this "new" method is to ignore bad behavior and effusively praise good behavior. According to the doctor recommending this method, even time-outs are damaging to your child.

Discipline is essentially a punishment that is given in order to correct or train a child and should be viewed as teaching. A lack of discipline, or lack of teaching your child how to behave, will leave you with a child who is ill-mannered, lazy, and unable to participate in society.

So Why Do So Many Parents Fail to Discipline?

Parents who struggle with a lack of discipline don't set out to ruin their children; it's more that they're too tired to carry through with teaching their children how to behave. Or if they aren't too tired, they are misinformed and believe that discipline leads to low self-esteem and poor parent-child relationships. Then when they are fighting their middle school child to get her to finish her homework, the effect of this lack of discipline is all too clear. Sadly, there are many parents who don't understand the consequences of the lack of discipline until it is too late.

There Are Consequences for Your Actions

Every action has a consequence, whether that consequence is good or bad depends on the action. If your household has a lack of discipline, your children are going to suffer. Human nature is sinful; the Bible is clear on that. If left to our natural state, we will revert to sin. This is why children must be taught to behave. They aren't born knowing that laziness can result in trouble in school and that flunking out of school will make it harder to make a living. No, they just know that they don't enjoy doing school work. Video games, books, and playing outside are much more fun, so why do homework?

Children aren't born knowing not to retaliate when someone tries to hurt them. If not taught otherwise they will lash out at the child who first tried to hurt them instead of finding an appropriate person in authority to mediate the dispute. Discipline is teaching our children how to behave in society so that they can be productive, caring individuals, and ultimately so that they can understand God and the grace that He extends to them. Neglecting this in the home creates individuals who cannot function well in society.

Teach Children How to Deal with Conflict

A lack of discipline leads to a lack of healthy conflict. If a child never has reason to disagree with her parent because all her parents ever do is praise the things that she does right, then that child doesn't gain an understanding of righteous anger. She doesn't learn that if she misbehaves there will be bad consequences; instead she is only ever shown good consequences.

Of course parents should praise their children, but to use only praise creates an emotionally lopsided child who lacks conflict resolution skills. Without these important life skills a child will be shocked when she goes to school and realizes that few people besides her parents are going to let her have her way every time.

A Healthy Community

Discipline is needed to raise balanced, healthy individuals who can function well in society. We live in a global society. As such we need to know how to get along and we need to learn that our behaviors affect other people. We need to learn that there are consequences for our actions and if our actions are bad the consequences of those actions will be painful.

Discipline teaches these lessons and a lack of discipline creates a selfish individual who doesn't realize that their actions not only impact their own lives, but that they impact those around them as well. How heartbreaking it is for the parent who is visiting his or her child in jail because he or she failed to discipline.