Labor: Natural or medicated?

Elsie -
We are all rooting for you and praying for you.
Here are some scriptures to encourage you.
Isaiah 26:3-4
Jeremiah 29:11
Psalm 18:1-2

All my best,
Debra

Thank you...we're excited. There's a long way to go. Have to see a heartbeat yet, so I'm staying cautious...but the nauseousness is kicking in, so if symptoms are a sign of a healthy pregnancy, then I guess that's a good sign. With Chase I was never sick or tired...I really had a hard time believing I was pregnant until I started feeling him move. Aiden's pregnancy was more like this one has been so far...But it doesn't matter...I'm still just excited to be pregnant and thinking about labor and delivery and baby names

congratulations on the new baby Elsie. I am thrilled to hear the news. I saw your post under the baby names too and think it is great that you can start coming up with names again.

Great to hear the good news. Fingers crossed here that everything goes well for you and your family!

WOW, that is a huge increase congrats on the new wee one.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

the final number was 780 on Monday...so that was a 155% rise from Friday (according to my nifty online calculator). So now I just wait for that ultrasound to see the heartbeat on 11/21...

That is awesome news!!! we will be cautiously optimistic with with your RE! Glad to hear your numbers are rising. Have an amazing weekend!

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Mikki-Thank you! My numbers today were 192. That means that it more than doubled in 2 days. I have a very cautious RE and he says that we aren't out of the woods, but he's "cautiously optimistic". I have another blood draw on Monday, but I am feeling much better now that I know my numbers are rising...

Elsie,

I will keep your family in our prayers. You are right that it is in God's hands and time will give you that long awaited answer. I have never been through fertility treatment but I am familiar with the time, patience and monitoring involved. Those times can be some of the most trying. Keep your prayers focused and we will all join together that the baby will implant soon and sustain on its own! Please keep us posted.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Debra-I love your post. Thank you for sharing how you've changed your mind. Our pastor once said that it is evidence of the hope we have in Christ that our church is so filled with babies and young children...because it takes a lot of courage to want to bring a child into today's fallen world.

Mikki-I'll definitely do some doula research. I've always been interested in the idea of a water birth. I just love being in the water...it soothes me. That may be something to look into.

Hopefully I'll have the chance to look into it. My blood test came back lower than they like to see it so I go back tomorrow for another draw. It could just be a late implanter. Either way, I have faith that it is in God's hands. I am still tired and my pregnancy tests have gotten darker each day, so I do have reason to be hopeful. In so many ways I wish I'd never had to have that blood test (but they make you do it when you do fertility treatment because they have to know if the pregnancy isn't viable so that you can go off of the hormones that are sustaining it--otherwise you'd keep supporting a non-viable pregnancy). This is what I mean by wanting things to be natural since so much of the baby's/babies' conception has been monitored so closely. That one blood test has caused me a lot of angst--and the pregnancy could be perfectly fine since HCG numbers vary so much from person to person. Anyway. I do hope I get the chance to look more into natural labor.

Hi Elsie, so glad there are 3 positives!!! I am so tickled and giddy inside Enjoy the blood test tomorrow and enjoy your upset stomach! (bet you never thought you would love that)

My longest labor was with Jessica and it lasted more than 12 hours. She was transverse and no one picked up on it until my water broke and her chord slipped through. Lucky for us they just don't miss that anymore, they know the baby is transverse because of the late stage ultrasounds. When I was pregnant with my 2 older ones you had an ultrasound when it was medically necessary and at the discretion of the doctor, then with Aaron only in the first trimester to confirm your due date. Now you get one every trimester and all will be well.

Danielle was a 3 hour labor and one push delivery (after her head was crowned they pushed her back in to administer the saddle block and I was numb from the waste down and did not feel the episiotomy. This would be a good alternative to the epidural, also they have local anesthetics that work perfect for episiotomies), Aaron was about a 2 hour labor (maybe 2 1/2), and like Aiden very tough to get out. He was 8lbs and 2 ounces with a head at 14 centimeters. I share this because it is my true affirmation that you don't feel the pain during pushing. Aaron was stuck a few times, and I tore both inside and out before the midwife even had a chance to administer the episiotomy. My total stitches was somewhere in the hundreds and I only felt one quick, sharp almost like a paper cut instant of pain and then it was gone and I continued to deliver. When done properly the episiotomy will be the same.

I do want share the fact about episiotomies, they usually lead to a higher likelihood of tearing than if you don't have one at all. This is true. To avoid a natural tear increase your potassium and calcium during your pregnancy. The best source is with CalMeg, liquid form. This will help with elasticity of the skin and reduce the risk of tearing, even if you have an episiotomy. Remember that no matter what your doc says it is an option, not a necessity.

Also I studied a lot about being a doula, I have a high interest in child birth, but the long and unpredictable hours would have taken me away from my own family more than I was willing to give. I learned many tips and tricks to naturally speeding up your labor. Simple things like the position you lay on your bed actually affects the baby's ease of movement through the canal. For example lying on your left side with your right knee at a 45 degree angle allows for a more natural movement. All of that is later though. Debra is right, you have 8 months to learn about all of that. Study information about being a doula, tons of tips for natural labor and helping it along also taking labor classes are a must!!! Can't emphasize that enough, in fact midwives insist that both parents complete these classes prior to delivery, they are that important.

Debra - absolutely love your story. It is true how God has a way of things. My youngest, Morgan insists that she will never have children because she just won't and I look forward to the day that she changes her mind. Being a mother is my greatest joy and I love the way you said, "how could I withold my children from the world." That is so perfect.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

I just love the excitement in your tone. Before I answer, I want to share some of my testimony. Less than two years ago, on our way to our anniversary vacation, I talked my husbands ear off about why I did not want to have children EVER. He knew I felt that way but I wanted to elaborate. I was a teacher and I did not want to come home to more children, I thought. I told him the day we built a power plant in our living room (he is an engineer) that would be the day we will have children. I also felt that the world had enough children not being taken care of for us to bring some more here. I wanted to open a foster home for a lot of children, but never my own. I did not want to bring my children into this awful world and run the risk of losing their salvation. Oh how funny God is because I got pregnant that weekend! He wanted to teach me a lesson.

This last year's journey has helped me to stop living in fear. I know understand that God has an amazing plan for my children which include taking care of other children for generations to come. I love being a mommy and I would not trade it for anything in the world. I think to myself not "how could I bring children i nto this awful world" but "how could I withold my children from the world." I thought I was too selfish to have children. I was known to say, "who in their right mind would mess up their lives with children?" HOW IMMATURE!!! In this past year, I have become more selfless than I ever imagined possible.

Would I go natural again, ABSOLUTELY! For me, it was a way to connect with my baby. I did not talk or interact with the people in my room. I did not cry or scream. I just closed my eyes and connected with my baby. I visualized myself breathing in strength and blowing out the pain. I became a team with my baby. It was the first challenge that we overcame together. I was there with him. (I squeezed the heck out of my husbands hand though...) I had an IV drug that takes away pain for an hour. That helped a lot because I was able to rest and get more strength. My labor was looong. But I pushed him out in 12 minutes 3 pushes.

I did not have an episiotomy, but I will get one next time. I ripped naturally and it took me 3 months to heal (OUCH!!!). Like Mikki said, when its time to push, the contractions just stop and you feel sooo relieved. I actually chilled for a minute with his head crowning because I felt such a relief. I dropped my jaw and made this awful noise like a whale (they teach you this in childbirth) while pushing. He was out in no time. Once he is out, you are so caught up with baby, you don't even notice any pain. I promise!

I pray for a healthy and happy pregnancy for you. You have time to think about labor and delivery. Read up on it. Give yourself room to change your mind. I say try it but don't beat yourself up if you decide its not for you.

Debra

Mikki-Thank you for the congrats. We're praying for a healthy baby, for sure. I have a blood test tomorrow (since it's a frozen embryo transfer they monitor everything early on) to confirm, but I've taken 3 tests and all were positive Grin. I'm also exhausted and queasy when I don't eat...So I'm happy about those symptoms.

Really? You don't feel the pushing? What if you have to have an episiotomy? I had to have one with Aiden (he was 8lbs 5oz at 38 weeks gestation). I had the episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear--which isn't bad considering how big he was and that he was my first baby. I worry about having to have another episiotomy and not already being numb Shocked.

Another fear is that the labor will take longer if I go naturally. I've heard that some women do better when they have an epidural because it relaxes them. Aiden's labor was only 6 hours (30 minutes of pushing). Chase's labor was 4 hours, but he was so little there was no pushing at all. I love those short labors...and I worry that if I am in pain I'll be so tense that it'll prolong the labor. I'm interested in anyone's thoughts about this...

Debra-How exciting that you're thinking of having another! I've just been through 3 years of infertility and it was a long road to get here (but then you've probably seen my story). To say we're ecstatic barely even touches the feeling of being pregnant this time...I went to Walmart today to get groceries and the baby section is right next to the groceries. I was not prepared for the emotions that hit me when I walked by and realized that I could be shopping there very soon. It's a good thing I was still wearing my sunglasses!

So are you going natural next time?

Congratulations! I am so excited for you. We are thinking about having another baby too so it is really exciting for me to hear about your pregnancy news.

I completely agree with Mikki. Labor is the hardest part. If you consider natural, please take a childbirth course. The breathing techniques that you learn make all the difference in the world. It's not a breeze, but it's an amazing experience. I vote for you to try it at least once

Debra

Elsie, a huge congrats on the positive!! Grin I will keep you in my prayers that all goes well and the positive stays a positive! Natural labor isn't so bad, you have to remember to take one contraction at a time and this is really easy through the majority of the labor, and always keep thinking of the actual delivery. I can say that the delivery part takes away the pain, not because your baby is being born but because the pain of the contractions literally stop like an instant numbing has occurred and you just push. rather miraculous, so in your considerations for which method keep in mind that labor truly is the toughest part, the delivery is a breeze.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

It's so great hearing all of your stories. I do love the drugs though...I just don't know that I could do it the other way...I don't know too many people who do it naturally and regret it...except for my mom. She went natural with all of us and when I told her I wasn't sure what I wanted she told me to take the drugs. That made my decision for me back then, and I had such an easy time with my deliveries (6 hours and 4 hours) that I don't know that I want to do it any differently.

It is something I'm thinking about though. I took a pregnancy test this morning (we did a frozen embryo transfer this month) and it was positive...So I hope everything goes well and it's a decision I'll have to be thinking about during the next 8 months! Grin

I think in some ways, natural sounds nice just because the process of getting pregnant for me requires doctors, embryologists, and it's all so medical...So that aspect does make the prospect of a natural delivery more appealing.

We had a c-section because of fetal distress so we didn't really experience labor and delivery. The early stages were a bit scary for me and it just seemed to be taking way too long to complete. It turned out as it did though and I look forward to trying a normal delivery next time around. I am confident right now that I will have a natural labor. I am more afraid of the labor drugs and the affects on me and baby than the process of giving birth. For me it's a pretty easy choice.

Hello everyone,

My oldest daughter was a teen pregnancy and I will tell you I was terrified. I wanted to have a natural delivery but my doctor thought this was pushing it because I was young and small. We agreed on a saddle block, which is administered after the babies head has crowned, allowing me to experience labor and blah, blah, blah. I agreed and when the time came for the saddle block I wanted to refuse. They actually had to push Danielle back in to safely administer it and I really didn't see the point. Again I lost (so frustrating being the minor!!) but I did experience labor. It was extremely scary. Each contraction brought another thought of "It can't possibly be like this" or "Will this be the last one?" My labor lasted a whole 2 hours so really I had nothing to complain about but it was my first time around.

With my second daughter I again shot for the natural delivery and this time was an adult with full confidence. This labor drug out for hours. After 12 hours the doctors wanted to give my something to help me relax and rest, said this may also help the progress. All it helped was for me to feel drugged and disconnected from my body. When my water finally broke with Jessica's heart stopped and my vitals dropped. Everything was so distant, and I believe a huge part of that was the drugs they gave me to "relax." Jessica was delivered in record time by c-section and it was three days before I saw her. Very scary times indeed.

This experience made me bound and determined to not let doctors interfere with natural birth and we set out to find a midwife with my son Aaron. We found a wonderful lady who cared for my pregnancy and really brought back the natural order of things. We had to induce 4 weeks early because Aaron was getting to big, too fast and being VBAC it was dangerous to deliver a large baby as Cheryl mentioned. When you induce naturally it is different than in the hospital, no drugs involved AT ALL. The labor again was only a couple of hours but the actual delivery took a while with Aaron getting stuck a few times along the way. Myself, my husband, the midwife and her assistant had to really work together for this delivery and if there had been any doctors involved I know it would have been sent for a c-section. Having a successful drug free labor and deliver was amazing. I was clear headed immediately and able to focus on my son. I was walking an hour after he was born and knew I would never do it any other way.

When Morgan came along we signed up with the same midwife and I was really excited for the upcoming delivery. Unfortunately I had to go another route, my SAC tore on the top and I was leaking constant fluids at 4 months. By law the midwife was not allowed to care for my pregnancy because of the risk for premature delivery and the doctors wanted to terminate. My midwife fought for us and of course won. It was the plan for her to take over care when I hit 32 weeks but that didn't happen either. at 31 weeks my placenta began to decay and I was hit with a red flag again. Morgan survived in my womb for another 6 weeks before they were forced to induce, and as Elsie mentions when they use pitocin it sure makes things a lot more painful. I was unable to make it through the pain and my body was weak so I agreed to the epidural. I can honestly tell you that even the epidural takes away from the emotional flood that comes when your baby is born. It makes it easy for the body to stop trying because it isn't feeling the signs to progress. While I wasn't mentally disconnected I felt physically disconnected. I couldn't even feel my baby as she was born. It was hours before I could walk and tend to my daughter without help.

I encourage everyone to choose a natural delivery and emphasize the need to go with a midwife or a doctor that is VERY supportive of natural pregnancy. There are circumstances that make this an impossibility but if you are blessed with the opportunity to choose, choose natural, every time.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Thank you Elsie and Cheryl for sharing.

I think pregnancy and birth are amazing, regardless of which path you take. I admire you both, because your stories are full of courage.

Even if my baby was big, I think I would go natural because I shiver a lot when I'm nervous. I shivered all during my labor. I would be afraid that I get pricked in the wrong spot. I've heard of women's epidural not working too. That scares me. I'm a super emotional, sucker for love kind of person. A little hippy at heart. I think because of my personality I really enjoyed labor. I viewed the pain as my baby and I working together. I know - weird!

I had it sorta easy, though. I did not swell at all during pregnancy. I only gained about 30 pounds, most of which I put on in the last month. 6 pounds in one week! My baby was only 6lbs 13oz. So, in my case, it was not such a heroic feat Well, maybe. I ripped naturally because I didn't have a episiotomy. It took 3 months to heal even with stitches. The hardest part about my labor was that my baby had the chord wrapped around his neck. They did not tell me, but my husband saw him come out tangled. The doctor swiftly untangled him and went on with her business.

They made me lay on my side and did not allow me to move around. That position was very painful. I also had a looong labor. My contractions began 20 minutes apart Tuesday at 11pm and I finally delivered on Thursday at 4am! I went through a 2 hour period where they were 9 minutes apart, then stopped completely for a few hours. I was dilating very slowly. Thankfully, the pushing part came quick. I pushed 3 times in 12 minutes and we were done. I know this grosses some people out, but my doctor even had the nurse sit me up and finish pulling the baby out once his head and arms had come out. I thought it was cool.

Life is unpredictable, though. I am thankful for my experience, but I pray for my next deliveries. Although I trusted God, I read up on c-sections during my pregnancy because you just never know what plans God has. I believe everything happens for a reason.

Again, thanks for sharing. God bless you both.

Debra

Wow Debra! That's so awesome that you gave birth naturally. I'm in awe...really. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I was pregnant with Aiden. My mom gave birth to all of us naturally and I thought at first that I'd do the same, but the day that she said, "why in the world would you do that? Take the epidural!" I decided that the epi may be the best route for me. Then I had early contractions with him. They were about 10-20 minutes apart for 3 weeks...I was miserable. I had dilated to 3cm and he was positioned head down and LOW...even with all of that, they had to induce me 10 days early because I'd been stuck in the first stage of labor for so long and it was wearing on me. After all of that pain and knowing that pitocin would make things worse, I opted for the epidural right away. The birth was a cakewalk compared to the weeks leading up to it. My mom was supposed to come down and hang out with me while we were waiting for him to arrive, but she'd chosen to work half a day and never made it. I was admitted at 7:40am for the induction. By 8 I had the pitocin, by noon I was 7cms, and by 2pm he was here. It was a 6 hour labor with only 30 minutes of pushing. It turned out to be a really good thing that I was induced. Aiden was 8lbs 5oz even though he was 10 days early. He'd have been 9 or 10 pounds if we'd waited until his due date...or later...The doctor told me I'd never have gotten him out. And he had a massive knot in his cord. The doctor was shocked that we hadn't had any complications from it.

Chase's birth was obviously different. My water had broken days before due to an infection. However, labor didn't start on its own and they had to induce me. Yes, my baby was still alive at that point, and it was an awful decision to have to make--not that there was a choice, it was a case of Chase dying AND me dying or just giving birth to him and him dying. He was going to die either way .

I wanted the epidural as soon as possible because I was already in enough emotional pain, I didn't want the physical pain as well. Unfortunately, although they told me I could have the epidural right away, they forgot about some test that needed to be run first...and they started the induction drugs without being able to give me the epidural. It was awful. I barely remember much of that time except for the pain. Then, when I finally got the epidural, it didn't end up helping much at all. So even though it only took 4 hours for him to arrive, it was definitely traumatic.

I'm looking forward to next time when there is a happier ending...but I do think I'll do the epidural yet again...we'll see though. After what I went through with Chase's birth, I feel like I could face anything!

~Elsie

Hi Debra,

Great topic! This one is very dear to me. I have two wonderful boys and have never experienced labor and do somehow feel like I've missed out on something.

Aidan, my first, was breech---and stubborn! I did everything to try to get him to move, right up to standing on my head, literally! We put the ironing board propped up on the coach and I would lay on it with my head at the bottom and feet up on the couch. Just imagine this at almost 9 months pregnant! He wasn't budging! My blood pressure actually started to rise at the very end and I was admitted to the hospital a little early. Because he wasn't moving, because they were afraid of toxemia, we ended up going with a C-section 2 1/2 weeks early.

Fast forward a little over two years and it's time for Eli. I decided I wanted to do a VBAC--I did NOT want another C-section. My pregnancy progressed normally and the doctor kept telling me it was my choice, but there was certainly no reason not to try natural. Of course, my husband thinks I'm totally insane. "Why in the world do you want to go through all that pain if you can opt out of it?" He supported me, but just really couldn't understand.

Now it's just a couple weeks before my due date and they do another ultrasound. Eli's perfectly fine, but huge! They estimate he's going to be 10 pounds or so. The doctor now tells me that I really can't risk doing a VBAC because he's so large. If I hadn't had a previous C-section we could go for it, but with there's a real chance of rupturing because of my previous surgery. I was absolutely devastated!!! I knew in my head that the method of arrival really doesn't matter, but I was just so disappointed. I cried and cried and then resigned myself to the fact that I'd be having another C-Sectoin.

Now we're approaching my due date and they want to schedule the surgery. However, the hospital is full to overflowing and they aren't scheduling any C-sections. My doctor tells me just to go to the hospital at a certain time and she'll meet me and kind of "sneak" me in. On that day, she calls in the afternoon and says don't even try it. They're just too full. This is on a Friday. So she says we'll wait through the weekend and try it on Monday. Okay, more disappointment.

But Eli had other ideas! About 11:30 that night my water broke. Now they had no choice but to get me in and Eli was born about 2:00 on Saturday morning. So I did have a couple hours where mild labor had started and I got to at least feel what an early contraction was like. But that's as close as I've ever come to labor and I do feel like I've missed out on something important. The really important thing, though, is I have two wonderful, healthy boys in the end!

By the way, Eli was 9 lb, 6 oz when he was born! And it's a good thing! I had sworn to my husband that if he turned out to be a 7-pounder or something, I was hopping up off that operating table and strangling the doctor! I know the ultrasounds can sometimes be deceiving and if they had over-estimated his weight and taken away my chance at a natural birth, I was not going to be a hampy camper!