How Can I Eliminate The Pacifier Habit?

I agree with Mikki. Don't sweat it. A friend of mine's dentist just told her that it's no big deal and her daughter will probably just give it up on her own by the time she's 4 or 5 (she only uses it for sleep). It was only a few days pain when we had Aiden give it up at the age of 3...At that point their more likely to respond well to a different substitute...if he's sleeping better with it, keep it. Trust me, he won't be needing it in the dorm room at college

I wouldn't sweat it too much. If he likes his paci let him keep it. He is young enough that in my opinion there isn't any harm in him having it to sleep. I have always been a softie with my babies, and what ever made them sleep best is what they got, and still do Wink. The favorite pillow, blanket, spot, or background sound.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

So, taking the paci away during sleep has not gone so well. I think I'm giving up too easily but I just think its too early to make it that big of a deal.

I have been making it a point to leave the paci in the crib and not take it with us, even in public. That part has been working fine. During sleep, I've tried to have the paci in view but not put it in his mouth. Immediately, he begins to cry and I just stick it in his mouth Smiley i'm a softie, especially because I love that he sleeps so well, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize it.

We'll keep trying. Thanks for your support.

Debra

Cheryl-Like you we waited to take the paci away at nighttime. That's because Aiden was very attached and nighttime sleep was difficult anyway. I was scared to take the paci away too early and lose the progress we'd made on his sleep. He also used them to help him calm down when he was frustrated or angry. They stayed in his bedroom, but if he was having a fit he could go to his room and lay there with his pacies until he was ready to face the world again. I didn't want to take away his coping mechanism. Then came potty training and I didn't want to do two big changes at once. So we just took it away earlier this year. I think he was over 3, but I don't remember exactly how old he was.

We did the paci fairy too. I got the idea from Supernanny . So we put his binkies in an envelope and he walked them out to the mailbox with me and put them in there himself--although it took quite a bit of coaxing. After he was in bed, I went outside and replaced the pacies with some small dollar store toys. The next day, he got to go out to the mailbox and see what the "fairy" left him. But he still cried for his binkies for a couple of nights when it was time to go to bed. He didn't wake up in the middle of the night upset--which was my main concern. It was just a fight getting him to go to bed. I'd say it lasted for 3 days and that was it. But as Cheryl pointed out, that's only helpful if the child is old enough to understand the concept.

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone.

I love the fairy idea, although I think Joa would not get that at all at this point. I've also heard of people who tie it to a helium balloon and let the baby release it. Sounds fun.

But as Mikki asks, Joa is not THAT attached to it. If he has it in his mouth and I remove it (such as in the morning) there is no drama. Sometimes he follows it with his eyes. Other times he lets out a wimpy whine. But its over as soon as I divert his attention to something else.

I only offer it if he is extremely fussy in public. Not at home. He really never gets fussy unless he's hungry or sleepy, though.

He definitely only wants it if he sees it. If its in view, he'll walk right up to it and put it in his mouth. When he goes to sleep, though, he spits it out as soon as he's gone.

I will try not giving it to him during his nap today and see what happens. I will keep you updated on our progress.

Thanks!
Debra

Now, see, the only reason the binkie fairy worked so well is that we waited until Eli was old enough to really understand the concept. Procrastination does pay sometimes!

I have to say Cheryl, that I love the binki fairy too. It's brilliant AND fun for the kids!

We only had one child actually love his pacifier and that was Aaron. None of my girls would even take one. The mistake I made was selecting a pacifier that could only be purchased from one location and they didn't always have them in stock!

I have to honestly say I don't remember what we did to break the pacifier habit, I do remember that he had one all the time up to about a year. If I didn't give it to him he would seek it out and carry it around! He didn't seem to suck on it though, just dangle it in his mouth. Unfortunately I don't know if he felt any distress when we decided not to replace the lost one because he didn't show signs of upset until near 3 years and then it was subtle. A blessing for us, except for those times when you wonder, "did he miss his binki?"

No seriously, because of his temperament I don't believe the sudden removal caused any distress. He probably just took it as was and went on to playing with his hair (just cute to watch)

I support JaMae and Cheryl, take the fairy idea and adapt it to something Joa would be tempted to choose over the binki. This doesn't mean that he won't cry for it later, he is only 1, but at least you have a positive reminder to share - he is a big boy now and growing up so good so he traded it for?Huh?

It's an idea worth trying for sure. I don't like some of the other suggestions I have heard about putting sour apple, lemon or hot sauce on the binki. I think it would be better if mom just couldn't find it every time he wanted it anymore!

Also considering that he doesn't seem to expect the pacifier or cry for it, I believe you will soon have a son that doesn't miss it. I have a couple of questions;

1. when you take it with you does he cry for it?
2. or, when he gets fussy do you offer it?
3. or, is he more in the place where he only wants it when he sees it?

I think the answers to these questions will give you the answer to how to stop. If the only answer is yes, you aren't half way there, you are there. You could stop taking it with you and he won't miss it. Thinking of night time pacifiers it could be the same scenario. If 3 is the only yes then try not having it in his crib when you take him in the room just to see if he expects it (you might try this anyway to get a feel for his night time attachment).

Breaking bed time habits are sometimes harder than daytime ones, they can be a bit more tricky, and trying Cheryl's idea could be an excellent solution for you.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

We don't use a pacifier, she hates them! The only thing I have heard is to take it away and that's that.

Cheryl - that is a brilliant idea to make the transition easier on you little one.

Debra - you could try taking Cheryl's idea and adapting it to something Joa likes and would want to trade it for. Since he doesn't have any older siblings he probably doesn't know the tooth fairy and only you know if he would grasp (and hold) the concept of the binki fairy.

Binki fairy - I LOVE IT!!!

Ah, the binkie!!! I remember it so well! Okay, time for true confessions. :Smiley

Aidan never used the binkie--he was a thumb sucker. He was still sucking his thumb at three years old, just at bedtime or when he was really upset about something. After a couple routine trips to the dentist, we explained that if he kept sucking his thumb it would mean a lot more trips to the dentist and a lot of work on his teeth at some point. That was enough to get him to stop! Took him a while to do it, but with just a few gentle reminders he was all set.

Now, Eli. He was a binkie kid. As an infant, loved that thing! Now, the confession, at two and a half he still had a binkie! And I'm one of those parents that thinks it's just wrong to see a preschooler walking around with one. Eli did just use it at bedtime and, again, if he was really upset about something. My husband and I were absolutely dreading the nights of no sleep because of a crying child going through binkie withdrawal. I think that's why we put it off so long!

Well, we finally decided, okay, it has to be done. We'll have a few sleepless nights and break the habit.

But then I came up with the idea of the Binkie Fairy. I explained to Eli that as children get older they no longer need binkies, so the binkie fairy comes and takes them away, just like the tooth fairy. We picked a day later in the week, so that he had a few days to adjust to the idea. And then we said, remember, tonight is the night the binkie fairy is coming so we need to leave your binkies here on the table so she can find them. (He had two that he switched between.) He left them and went to bed fine.

The next morning the boys got up to find two little packages in sparkly silver paper on the table--and no binkies! The boys were into Thomas trains, so there were two new engines, to replace the two binkies.

That night we were prepared for a battle--but none came! A couple times over the next few days he asked for his binkie and we reminded him the fairy had come and they were gone now, but remember the new trains you got. That was it--end of story! No fits, no crying, no sleepless nights. Of course, then I kicked myself for not doing it sooner!