A DVD player for the car?

Music to my ears!

Well...we managed our trip without a DVD player. The first hour of the trip was usually filled with him playing on his own in the backseat and the following two hours were spent with him telling us how hungry he was...then we alternately threatened and begged him to take a nap. The most he has ever slept in the car is an hour and a half, so the naps were short-lived, but I'm glad we didn't get a DVD player. I did enjoy the moments when he was in the back making up his own little games and talking or singing to himself.

Ah yes. We are working on it. For now the magic number is 4 but we will see. I definitely want to have a large family.

Debra

A real life testimonial, the more kids you have the easier it gets! There were always extra hands to get things out of reach, sooth baby to the next stop and help trace the face. So many in fact when one kid was in a mood and didn't want to help then there was always someone else to catch the slack.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

WOW, Mikki.
Just the thought of a long drive with just the kids makes me nervous. Recently my husband went out of town for business. I took Joa to greet him at the airport (2 hrs away). Joa slept most of the time but I still didn't enjoy it very much. Knowing that I had to focus on the road and could not turn around to look at him or touch him whenever I wanted made me feel like I was bound. I love the freedom of being a passenger during a long trip.

Anyone who can survive a long trip with several children and no other adults gets a super mom label from me.

Debra

HMMMM, frugal hubby? Grin

Did I forget to mention my husband wasn't with me? Wink

My husband is exactly the same way, when we stop it is at the gas station, potty, snack, drink and gas all in one. "We aren't stopping again until the next gas stop" (of course he always stopped when the little one said, "dad I have to go") He said the sooner we got to our destination the sooner everyone could get out of the car. Personally I really loved those trips alone!

My trips were just me and the kids while hubby stayed home and worked. He doesn't have the luxury of long vacations (he is supposed to get one a year, but it just never works out. At least they give him the vacation pay at the end of the year) and to visit my family you needed at least 1 week and a half for a quick run. So me and the kids went alone. We usually went by way of New Mexico to visit his sister, Wichita KS (where we met up with my mom and dad) and then after spending time with grandpa we got in moms camper and she made the trip to WV to visit my grandparents and siblings. It has been soooo long since we've done that. I really want to go now!

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Cheryl-That's a good idea. I've heard of the bands, but never tried them. I'll try anything. I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to survive the long car ride feeling so crummy...ginger ale, fruit and seabands Wink...whatever it takes!

Mikki-What a sweet story! I love stopping and taking my time getting someplace. We don't have much opportunity for that since I have a hubby who likes to get in the car and go...It took a lot of convincing to get him to stay at a hotel overnight instead of doing the 10 hours in one fell swoop...After two trips where Aiden pretty much screamed the entire ride (it was awful...I was an emotional wreck listening to my baby cry like that)...and a third trip where we drove all night while Aiden slept and decided that it was too dangerous to drive when we were that tired (and then we got to our destination at 3am and Aiden woke up when we transferred into the house--and didn't go back to sleep)...So we never attempted that again. That's when I finally told him that I would not put Aiden through that type of a trip again...we needed to stay in a hotel. In my opinion, it was cruel putting a child in a car seat for 10 hours! Thankfully even though he does like to get where he's going, he cares about his family's needs and agreed that if we couldn't afford the hotel stop, we wouldn't go back. We've been able to afford the hotel stop ever since then...It's amazing how God provides...Or maybe it's just amazing what my frugal hubby can be convinced we need to spend money on

Mikki--that's a beautiful story!!!

Elsie--this is off topic, but if you find Aiden does get sick in the car (or even to help you!) I highly recommend Seabands. It's not a medicine at all. They're just little elastic/cloth wristbands, much like sports sweat bands. They have a hard little bead on one side that exerts pressure on a particular point of the wrist and it helps with motion sickness. It's like an accupressure kind of thing. Both my boys wear them when we're going to be in the car for a long time and they really seem to work. Now, it may be completely psychological--they think the bands work, so they do---but either way, I'll take it! Ask at your pharmacy for them; I think they're about $10 a pair but you use them over and over.

I've also heard they work for morning sickness--although I never had that issue!

Debra - nice point on the "not always pleasant" movies can often perk moods and the t.v. noise could become burdensome on its own. We don't personally have one for our car. by the time they were readily available to purchase we were well passed the overly fussy in the car. At home we don't have the option for television (no signal) and movies are infrequent. They hate that!

Something I didn't think of earlier that we did when Aaron was little. He has a really tough time in the car, always has and probably always will. Long car rides get his brain constantly chattering and it won't shut up (his words). he then gets antsy, angry and full of tears Cry

We handled this by planning our stops intentionally. Instead of gas stations for bathroom breaks and fast food for lunch we packed food in a cooler and stopped at rest areas (or purchased fast food and then waited til we hit the rest stop to eat). These stops were allowed to take longer than, hurry and potty. The kids could run, collect rocks (Aaron's favorite thing to do) and explore the area. This made some of our best memories.

I have to share this one. One year Aaron was 4 and we were stopping to play at a rest stop in Arizona and to have a picnic. There was another family there with a little blonde girl that turned out to be 5. Her and Aaron and Jessica, who was 7, played for about 30 minutes before we started packing into the car and my kids started bringing me rocks (we collected rocks from every stop on our trips, I have a huge dish of them) and the little girl's parents came over to thank me for allowing my kids to stay so long and to share their gratitude that my children were so kind to their daughter.

I truly didn't understand their motivation until this little girl came up to me and tugged on my shirt, she lifted up this perfect sand colored rock and handed it to me. No smile, just handed it to me. I said thank you and her mom then informed me that she can't hear or talk.

She had played so naturally with my kids that it hadn't occurred to me that she couldn't hear them, or they couldn't hear her! Her mom said that she was so grateful because most kids are so confused by her inability to communicate they either ignore her or pick on her. This beautiful little girl that brought me a rock Cry

After we got in the car Jessica said, "Mom, you know what's weird? That little girl never answered us when we asked her stuff, she just followed us around and so we gave her stuff to carry." My kids recognized something strange but played anyway. I told them the story her mom had told me and Jessica asked if that was why I was so happy to get her rock, and so it was. I still have that rock and my kids refer to it as my special rock.

Debra, as opinionated as your post may seem, if we had a means to silence Aaron in the car those long trips we would have missed an amazing memory, one that everyone remembers with great joy. I can only imagine the joy of her memory.

Mikki Hogan
Publisher of UniqueParenting.com

Wow...I opened a can of worms Grin...I love all of the feedback though. Thank you! It's good to hear arguments from both sides.

Hubby and I were standing in Costco yesterday looking at the DVD player and trying to decide. That's what prompted my question today. Yesterday we decided against, but now I'm swaying towards deciding for...But then I don't know if Aiden gets car sick or not. I do. I can't even watch home movies without feeling ill because of the camera swaying...And we did have a throw up event on our last big car ride a few months ago. Hmmm...And with going over the Appalachian mountains composing a large part of the trip, we might be inviting trouble.

Debra-I'm with you on feeling that we have too much media in our culture. I did not introduce TV to Aiden for a long time. Mostly because he showed no interest whatsoever when I tried, and I felt no need to push it. I also saw the detrimental effects of TV on children's attention span in school...So buying a DVD for the car goes against my grain...but it's enticing for those long trips. We'll see. We may just see how the trip out there goes and if it's bad we can get a DVD player for the ride home...

So there is a lot to consider that I never even thought to consider...

TVs in the living room, in the bedrooms, in the bathroom, on the fridge, at the restaurant, now also in the car.

I am sooo passionate about this topic. Perhaps because I don't have older children yet. And because when I was young my family flew to FL from Puerto Rico then drove from FL to NY every year. In the car, my sisters (2 older) and I sang, played I-spy, argued, slept, sang some more and made up our own games.

If your kids are too young, you could a)leave at bedtime and drive while they sleep (that's what we do when we go 6 hrs to visit in laws). My friend who has 3 kids 5, 3, and 1 also recommended that option to us. Works great! OR b)Only as a last resort - play family home movies on a portable DVD player. I read that in a magazine. Its a family tradition that the kids watch DVDs in the car but only family movies. It can become a time to laugh at old memories. What kid doesn't love being the star of the show?!?

I just cannot stand when I see kids watching TV on their way to school in the morning. That is sad and ridiculous! I rarely if ever play the TV or DVDs at home for my little one. It's my personal preference. I believe that most of our nation's problems can be traced back to television somehow (obesity, debt, crime, etc...) we watch so much of it that we forget its entertainment and begin to treat it as reality. Car rides are good breaks from that. There are great shows out there but there are even greater things outdoors and within other people who you meet.

I say try it one way without the DVD and see how it goes. Even if they fuss a little, its part of memories. You don't want to look back and have no stories to remember from long drives except, "remember when we watched Finding Nemo on the way to Nanas?" Its the hippie in me. I think its the same reason why I didn't want an epidural - I want to be there - as painful as it may be Grin By the way a DVD is not guaranteed a peaceful trip Undecided

I know this was very opinionated but it is my choice for my personality style. This may not be the best for everyone.

Debra

We actually have one of the older portable DVD players. This is the big box kind that you'd strap between the two front seats in the van so the boys in the back seat could watch. We got it for our vacations to New Hampshire, which is about a 4-5 hour drive. Thought it would entertain the kids and make the drives easier.

Well, after the first couple years, we've never used it again! Come to find out both boys have a bit of a problem with car sickness, Aidan more so than Eli. It's not horrible but just enough to make driving a little less fun! Anyway, we found that watching the DVDs in the car actually made it worse. I think it's similar to reading in the car. You're focusing on something stationary while you're moving and it throws off the equilibbirum--or something like that.

So that's the extent of our experience with a car DVD!

But I do agree that you can definitely make it a long-ride-only type thing and stick to it! And just because you have it in the car doesn't mean you have to have it on the entire time. You can still have the family time, the games when he gets older, etc., but it might be a nice way to break things up if he starts getting antsy.

Elsie,

First comment that comes to mind, "a DVD on for every little errand" is a sign of weakness, no offense. 

We have discussed it and my aunt and her husband also had this exact discussion.  When the little monitors first came out for the car everybody wanted one and the continued "television as babysitter" continued, BUT I think the people that came up with the idea had a bigger picture here.

My aunt had two small children and it was a 6 hr drive to visit grandma (who is sick a lot).  Making the 6 hours once a week was sometimes more stressful than the need to go.  They decided to go with the dvd player for the car and it really changed her Saturday drives.  She arrived at grandmas more relaxed because when the boys needed entertaining they got it.

I really agree with that.  When you are taking long trips, kids really have a hard time tolerating the drive (take this from someone who made this type of trip twice a year with very young kids, we often made the two day trip to visit family) it can be a real strain on both kids and parents.  They are expensive but I like to think of this as one of those rare occasions where you can buy peace of mind 

As for it becoming a constant, that is easier to avoid than you think.  When my aunt first introduced the player to her boys (at ages 4 and 5) she told them, "you know those long drives to grandmas and how bored you get?  well mommy and daddy bought a surprise for those drives"  then she followed through, the dvd player is only in the car on those drives!  I personally thought that was brilliant 

What my aunt purchased was the kind that can strap to the head rest of the front seat, easy to install and easy to remove.  I personally like the ones that can sit in their lap, but believe for the younger ones it is better to have it attached to the seat in front of him.  Having the dvd player doesn't mean you miss out on the travel games either.  It's a two day drive and you will have plenty of opportunities to count the red cars, how many white cars and sing This old man.

I kind of miss the days of driving cross country with the kids every year, but now we live 5 days away and it is a much larger trek for us to take on, even with a dvd player.

Mikki Hogan Publisher of UniqueParenting.com