Better Parenting: The Importance of Leading by Example

"C'mon people!" Yells your child who is strapped into the back seat as you are driving in heavy traffic. Startled, you realize that this outburst is a mimic of the way you vent your own driving frustrations. Suddenly it's clear that your child watches and mimics everything you do, even down to the things you say in the car when you're frustrated with other drivers. Better parenting is a result of parents leading their children by being an example of good behavior.

You Are a Role Model

Because children are so quick to pick up on our actions, we should not only be vigilant about modeling correct behavior, but we should realize that better parenting is a direct result of whether or not we are leading by example. How we conduct ourselves serves as a behavior model to our children.

You Are Responsible for the Example You Set

As a person progresses from childhood to adulthood it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that adults can do whatever they want. This just isn't true because whether you have children or not you still have a standard of behavior that must be met in order to live cooperatively in our society today. So whether you realize it or not you will be accountable to someone. If you have children and you want to be a better parent, the best way to teach them how to behave is to show them. The old saying "actions speak louder than words" is especially true when it comes to teaching our children how to behave.

Modeling Good Behavior Breeds Respect

Leading by example makes you a parent worthy of respect. Being worthy of respect leads to better parenting. If you tell your child that he can't have chocolate cake for lunch and sit in front of him eating chocolate cake for your lunch how can he respect your authority? From his limited viewpoint he won't be able to see that you want him to have healthy foods because you want what's best for him. He'll see a hypocrite who tells him not to do something while you are doing the very thing that you told him not to do. Likewise a teenager who is told not to have sex isn't going to listen to a single-parent who is unmarried and sleeping with another adult. If nothing else is motivation to live a moral life being a parent should motivate you to model the behavior that you want your children to follow. If you don't want your children to make the same mistakes that you made you can't keep making the same mistakes.

Change Is Hard but Necessary

Of course everyone messes up. No human is perfect and therefore no parent is perfect. But knowing that we all mess up and sin is not a license to continue on that path. Any parent who is reading this article loves his or her children and wants better parenting skills. It's already evident by your subject matter choice. Allow your child to be your motivation to live a better life. As your child grows he will be exposed to plenty of pollutants from the world around him. You don't need to speed the process by exposing him to bad behavior early on. Hearing your sweet child's voice echoing a dirty word that you've said should startle you into an understanding of the importance of being a positive role model for your child. Even if you've messed up in the past, you can change that from here on out.

Enlist Your Child's Help

A great way to change your own behavior is to have your child help you. Yes this makes you vulnerable to them, but by holding yourself to high standards right in front of them gives you credibility in their eyes. It is much easier for a child to have love and respect for a parent who acknowledges that he is guilty of messing up and takes active steps to change his life. It doesn't make it harder to respect you just because you mess up. Your child already knows that you mess up. It just makes it easier to respect you when you acknowledge your mistakes and your child can see you working to change your behavior. Remember earning respect is a key ingredient to better parenting.